EQ. Pt. 4

Welcome to the Leadership Sovereignty Podcast. I'm your host, Ralph Owens, along with Terry Bennett. In today's episode, we'll touch on topics such as the power of relationship management, the magnitude and impact of using life's experiences to lead with empathy, the power of being your authentic self, and the incredible power of what you believe about yourself. Enjoy the show. So the three components that we have so far are self awareness which is internal, self regulation, which is internal, social awareness, which is external.

And the fourth one is relationship management, which is building and maintaining positive relationships through effective communication and empathy. Right? So relationship management is everything because you're going to have that in every aspect of your life, both personal and professional. And I think the key word there is empathy, Right? Because it's a lot easier to regulate your own emotions when you can try to see it from the other person's perspective.

But I mean, what's what's your thought on that point relationship management?

Oh, Ralph, I love what you just said about that. Right? So I've started another book. Really, I just started it this week and it has been so so so good. I've had it for a little while.

True North. And it's written by a guy, Bill George, he was the CEO of Medtronic. He was man touted for just, I forget it, but somewhere the company was losing money. I think when he left, man, it was like, I think I wanna say like an $8,000,000,000 company. I mean, he is touted as one of the gurus of CEOs.

And so he started this book because, he wrote this book rather because during the 90s, late 80s, 90s, we had a lot of failure in leadership, right? And he identifies it all. We have failure in politics, right? We had failure in government, right? We have failures in churches, these big name guys, man.

What I love about this book and what he's tying it to is, and this totally ties back Ralph to our story about our shows about building your story, right? As you're doing your reviews and things like that, right? What is your life story that kind of propels and drives you? And it was so encouraging to see that one of the aspects of what he says that helps people get on their true north is their life experience, right? And so he tells a story about the CEO of Starbucks.

I didn't know this, but essentially his dad was, I believe a mail carrier or something like that. And his dad fell on a sheet of ice, broke his ankle. As a result, dad lost his job. And as a result of that, they lost insurance. So he saw his family struggle through the medical bills and things like that, that his dad had to suffer through after losing his job.

Here's what's funny, began Starbucks, right? One of his true north items is everyone gets healthcare, even part time workers, right? That was a life experience, right? To your point, the empathy, right? So there are things that you aspire to as a leader.

When you look at your core And basically what he's saying is what are your core tenets? What are the core things that are driving you? Right now? If those core things which are driving you only have to do with the outcomes associated with business, then more than likely we're gonna have the examples of the leaders that have had these fallen situations. Because all you can see ultimately, here's the benefit of the business winning.

It's really not about the business to be honest. You wanna say you did it.

Yeah, ego.

Ego and so in times, probably ego was the number one thing that subdues a person's ability to show someone else empathy because you really don't care what the outcome right

for them. That's right.

So yeah, again guys, build your stories, use your life, it's your life experiences which are going to define your core values, right? What are you passionate about? Those things are gonna come out of what we've experienced. And here's what's important, right? I believe that the CEO of Starbucks, I need to look up his name, I forget his name right now, but his company doing that challenged all other companies.

He's impacting the world making a choice like that.

Sure, yeah.

You see what I'm saying? So what is it that's your passion, your driver? Right? What is it that quite honestly God has given you? And I think out of our life experiences really come our ability to show others, right?

You know what, I understand. I got it. That means you don't hold them accountable, but how you execute on it, right?

Yep, absolutely. So recapping the key components of emotional intelligence or self awareness, which is internally being able to recognize your own emotions, strengths, weaknesses, and triggers. Self regulation, to be able to manage your emotions effectively, especially in stressful situations. Social awareness, external, understanding the emotions, perspectives and needs of others. And then relationship management, the management of those relationships again, external, building and maintaining positive relationships through effective communication and empathy.

Okay. Moving on to the next point, the emotional, the importance of emotional intelligence in professional and personal life. So some of the, benefits that you'll get by applying an EQ in your personal life is improved relationships, right? Because you better understand and manage the emotions that lead to stronger connections with others. You wanna touch on that too?

Yeah, here's the deal, right? Relationship is at the center of everything. Right? It's at the center of everything and if we can go into a scenario and be our true authentic selves, right? Our true authentic selves are really based in our belief systems, right?

And so in these professional environments and our personal environments, the beauty of it is we're constantly working on it, right? Because your core values are going to be challenged. They're going to be you're going to be put in situations, you know, you're going to be put in situations that are going to challenge him.

Yep. Absolutely. Absolutely. So improved relationships. Another benefit is enhanced well-being.

So emotional intelligence will help you manage stress, anxiety, and even depression better. Right? So when you are aware of your own, triggers and strengths and weaknesses and you learn how to manage or regulate those, it's gonna give you a sense of enhanced well-being, you know, throughout your own stress and anxiety. Increased resilience, the ability to cope with challenges and setbacks, and to be strengthened. Right?

These are all benefits of learning and applying emotional intelligence in your in your personal life and then greater self awareness. Right? Understanding one's emotions can lead to personal growth and fulfillment. When you really understand yourself, you know, I think I I'm trying to remember how this quote goes but it says the the ultimate goal of life is the management of oneself. Right?

Being able to understand your weaknesses and your strengths and then maximize your relationships based on how you come across to others. Any any thoughts on that too?

Ralph, I have a huge thought on that. So I want to read a couple things out of the book so basically man you lead me right into it ultimately what you your goal is is to find out this is the real me. Yeah. So I'm gonna tie a couple things into this before I start start to read this, right? How do you find out the real you?

So I gotta give a shout out to Myron Golden and one of his podcasts. I'm trying to remember the title. I believe it was the one that had to do with, I think it's Believe or I Believe is the name of it. I'll try to look it up. But basically he brought out three different things, right?

He says there's a lie identity. Are you believing the lie about yourself? The lie identity. Are you believing the my identity, right? The my identity is a response to the lie identity.

It's the person that you've created to deal with who somebody said you were. So life for instance, right? And I'm gonna just kind of speak to this. So I was talking to Terrence and you know, I'm always, you know, and I'm a be transparent here, he wrote me a letter a couple of weeks back and I read it. He's like, dad, I love the time that we spend together.

Although, you don't talk a lot. So what he meant by that is, I'm generally always, I found the fact that I'm literally mainly coaching whenever I'm talking with my kids, hey, how you doing this? What's going on here? Okay, here's some anecdotal, here's a way to do this where, know, my wife's totally different. She's super conversational.

Hey, how was it today? What do you think? You know, What are you And so they get to really So I said, you know what? Again, ability to grow, right? This relationship with my son and I'm trying to do this with all my children, just more better versus again, right, being goal oriented, all you can see is the, I to the, I gotta cross the finish line.

So my conversations tend to be in that fashion. Anyway, so we're just talking and I'm working on it, I'm practicing. He goes, dad, we got some kids at school, they just try to act like they hard and this and that. And it's the my identity, right? They're responding to some external thing and in order for them to get their just do, they wanna come across as tough guy.

Well, we as adults do the same thing, Right? Some of us at meetings, we wanna come across as smart guy. Yep. You know what I'm saying? I got all the answers.

Yep. Right? Some of us wanna come across as, you know, ball buster. I'm hard, I'm driving my team. But then what Myron talked about is, but who does God say you are?

That's good.

Right, so there's a section in the book, Raf, that talks about this is the real me. And I'm gonna read this little paragraph. When you are aligned with who you are, you find coherence between your life and your leadership. As psychologist William James wrote a century ago, I have often thought that the best way to define a man's character is to seek out the particular mental and moral attitude in which he felt himself most deeply and intensely active and alive. At such moments, there is a voice inside which speaks and says, this is the real me.

It's powerful.

You know what I'm saying? So what I tie into that is when am I most doing what God has designed me to do? Right? How many times am I really operating in my God given purpose? No matter where I am, right?

If I'm at work right now, granted, is work, this is a challenge, is work all God created me to be? So maybe I've never felt most alive, most active where I found the real me. So again, that's a challenge for us all.

Thank you for listening to the Leadership Sovereignty Podcast. We hope that you not only enjoyed the content, but gained something to help you on your personal leadership journey. Feel free to reach out to us on X and Instagram under the handles Leadership Sovereignty. Until next time, stay safe, peace, and blessings.