EQ. Pt. 6

Welcome to the Leadership Sovereignty Podcast. I'm your host, Ralph Owens, along with Terry Baylor. In today's episode, we'll touch on topics such as some of the benefits of learning and applying EQ, how your ability to manage your emotions will determine if your conflict resolution is effective, the power of the emotional mind versus the rational mind, and the power of understanding the impact of your emotions on others. Enjoy the show. So, so, improved decision making.

Another benefit of EQ in your personal, I'm sorry, your professional life is stronger communication. Right? So the empathy and effective communication skills are crucial, for building relationships. Gotta have those. And then conflict resolution as well.

EQ, can help navigate conflicts peacefully and productively. I think we can never give enough attention to that point. Right? Everybody has been in a conflict before and how you handle that conflict is a direct relationship. Well, let me go back.

Not only how you handle it, but how the outcome of that conflict, or what it produces is a direct relationship to how well you manage your own emotions in that moment. Right? And it's a learning experience that I'm continuously learning day to day, year to year on how am I going to manage myself in this moment to help drive the outcome of this event. Any thoughts there, Terry?

Yeah, man. Again, I'm just I'm all in this book. Right? So this is Aristotle. Aristotle said this, Anyone can become angry.

That is easy. But to be angry with the right person to the right degree at the right time for the right purpose. And in the right way, that is not easy.

Interesting.

Because here's the thing, right? Come on man, I'm gonna go back to the bible again. The bible says be angry but sin not. I cannot like something.

That's right. That's right.

But how do I go about it in the right way to the right degree?

That's right.

I mean, that's that's some heavy stuff.

That's right.

To be angry in the right way to the right degree at the right time?

Yeah. That's right. That's right. And, you know, just just to touch on that a little bit, anger is an emotion that God gave us. No.

No. He never said it was it was it was a sin to be angry. But he did specifically call out that your anger is never an excuse for bad behavior. He said sin not. Right?

Which deals with the behavior. But yeah. Yeah. No, you're right.

You know, so I'm I'm a read this last piece, Ralph. So this is again, I think this goes back to, you know, you know, I think this this builds on what you just said. Right? In many or most moments, these minds, right, your emotional mind and your rational mind are exquisitely coordinated. Feelings are essential to thoughts, thought to feeling, but when passion surge, the balance tips.

It is the emotional mind that captures the upper hand, swapping the rational mind. Yep. You see what I'm saying?

That is the crux of it all. Yep. Yeah.

So we gotta keep we gotta keep it in balance, man.

Yeah. Gotta keep it in balance. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely.

So so let's move on to the next topic, which is, understanding your emotions. So, you know, how how does one go about understanding your emotions? Sometimes it's that recollection that you have after the moment. It's that, being able to think back on the argument or the conversation or the meeting and, recalling in your mind exactly, did I say that the right way? Was my was my volume too high?

You know, just basically, you know, recalling your actions and how you you performed in that moment and then also understanding, how your actions impacted other people. Right? Because you gotta have that awareness, that social awareness of, you know what, when I started pounding my fist because I was passionate about this moment, other people started to, you know, pull back. Right? You know, so, understanding, you know, how you impacted the room and impacted the situation based on your behaviors, right, to me is is one of the the first part of understanding your emotions, you know, and being able to say because I've done this like, you know, when this person does that, it makes me feel like this and therefore I do that.

Right? That's a big tool that I've used, on myself a lot to help me understand what's driving my emotions. But, I mean, what's what's your thoughts on that too?

Yeah. Rapha, no, it's spot on. Right? It just goes back to, you know, a few from a few moments ago, right? Where talks, you know, where I read, you know, in your rational mind, those are the things you do, right?

You reflect, You know, you ponder, you're thoughtful because here's the deal, right? We're not going to always get it right. Right. But the ability to go back and reflect and say, you know what, I want to get better at this.

Right.

Right. And you know what, it's gonna cause you to have to go back sometimes and say, hey, I apologize for the way I responded in the meeting.

That's right.

Doesn't change my position. What I want to do though is have guys, this is You know, if we can focus on this, and I'll tell you, be honest with you, man, marriage has helped me with this. I'm just be honest with you. Look, how many times is the message lost in the method?

Oh yeah, absolutely.

You saying some great stuff but look, hey, can you just not yell it? Everything you said is spot on, but I can't hear it. It's so loud.

That's That's right. I'll never forget this irregardless of what you feel about Bill Cosby doing our time coming up, the Cosby show was a big cultural thing. And I never forget this one lesson he taught in there and he was talking about, how something was presented to him. He was like, son, it's like you taking the best steak in the world and cooking it perfectly and then serving it to me on the top of a trash can lid. I can't even see what you're giving me.

Right, right.

I remember that. That's exactly right.

Yes. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Yep.

And it matters guys. It matters. And let me say this, this is, I liked a lot of things about the president Barack Obama. I loved a lot of things about him. What I love most, he was smooth all the time.

He is actually like speaking to Congress. These guys are heckling him. He does not get out of character. I guarantee you his Apple watch was saying heart rate above average. That's right.

I guarantee you blood flow was increasing to his hands.

That's right.

Because he it wasn't fleeing to his legs. He trying to run away.

That's right.

I guarantee, but you know what? His ability to In my opinion, he exhibited some of the highest EQ that I've ever seen where you have people who are outright not disrespecting him as a man. You were disrespecting the position and the office.

That's right.

I had never seen those kind of things occur in Congress before. But his ability to speak and maintain his cool, man, it's legendary.

It is. He was he was fully in command of his emotions. Right? And was able to manage those to produce the outcome he desired and not let his emotions wreck his, you know, his delivery.

Yes. And he was. Yeah. And so

it's one of the best. Yeah.

Yes. Yeah. And so so what brings to mind for me on that is what was his life experiences where he had to hone that? We know he went to Ivy League schools, so he had to hone it there. And let's just be totally honest about that.

I've lived in situations, I've lived in situations where, you know what, I tell this story all the time. And my wife is like, you know you're giving yourself way too much credit here. I'm like, no. I said, I have a major contribution to president Barack Obama being in president. I said, I was the first African American student president at Missouri Baptist University.

I help people get comfortable with the idea.

Yeah, yeah, that's good.

And so being in that environment, right, it's been transparent, right? I was one of few, right? I was a part of a vocal group where we traveled and anybody from Missouri is going really, really understand this. I sang in every first Baptist up and down forty four and fifty five. My mom told me, son, you just don't know.

I was praying for you, I was afraid for you. And many of these environments, man, I was the only African American, like for miles and miles and miles around. And so I've lived through that. I don't know, know, Grant, it was great. It was a great experience.

Don't get me wrong. I loved it. But there are things that, you know, I didn't experience any horrific situations, but I knew and I felt the undertones at times.

Understanding your emotions is the very, very most important piece of all of this. Right? I think another example of that was doctor Martin Luther King Yeah. In in in the things that he had to face opposition he had to face, but being able to control and understand his emotions, you know, allowed him to adjust his delivery so that he can achieve the outcome that he wanted. Yeah.

Be aware.

Be aware. Be aware. Yeah. You for listening to the Leadership Sovereignty Podcast. We hope that you not only enjoyed the content, but gained something to help you on your personal leadership journey.

Feel free to reach out to us on x and Instagram under the handles Leadership Sovereignty. Until next time, stay safe, peace, and blessings.