How Emotional Intelligence Can Transform Your Leadership (Part 5)
In this conversation, Ralph Owens and Terry Baylor explore the significance of emotional intelligence (EQ) in personal and professional growth. They discuss the importance of self-awareness, setting goals, resilience, and the connection between emotional regulation and mental health. The dialogue emphasizes the need for leaders to cultivate emotional well-being and happiness, not only for themselves but also for those they lead. Through personal anecdotes and practical advice, they highlight how understanding and managing emotions can lead to more effective leadership and a healthier mindset.
Takeaways
- Emotional intelligence is crucial for personal and professional success.
- Self-awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence.
- Setting goals is essential for personal growth and development.
- Resilience can be built through emotional regulation.
- Challenges should be viewed as opportunities for growth.
- Creativity is a powerful tool in overcoming obstacles.
- Mental health is closely linked to emotional regulation.
- Leaders have a responsibility to promote emotional wellbeing.
- Prioritizing happiness is vital for effective leadership.
- We must prepare the next generation of leaders.
00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:03,320
There are so many things that's
a great story because there are
2
00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:07,240
so many things that we carry
forward that have just been
3
00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:11,120
these traditions, right?
And and it's OK to what I'll
4
00:00:11,120 --> 00:00:13,760
say, challenge those traditions,
right?
5
00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:17,200
Not challenge in a way that's
going to be disruptive, but ask
6
00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:22,120
the question, why, why do we
communicate this way, right?
7
00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:26,600
Why, why when we get together,
you know, the resolution always
8
00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:32,479
has to kind of, you know, take
these 6 steps versus, you know,
9
00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:35,560
there's a lot easier path.
We got three steps that we can
10
00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:38,040
get there.
Welcome to leadership
11
00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:40,320
sovereignty.
I'm your host Terry Baylor along
12
00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:42,960
with Ralph Owens.
And then this final episode of
13
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,800
Emotional Intelligence geared
towards your personal growth.
14
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:50,560
We'll review self-awareness,
resilience and well-being.
15
00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:59,960
Enjoy the show.
And we are live back again.
16
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:05,360
Terry, how you feeling?
Hey man, I'm giving it
17
00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:11,240
everything I got to make sure
that I can articulate the
18
00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:14,200
winning side of life.
That's good, that's good.
19
00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:18,840
That's tweetable.
You know what I'm saying?
20
00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:22,200
But it's a lot going on, man.
I had, you know, someone called
21
00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:29,200
me today and just share, you
know, So here's the thing,
22
00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:32,320
right?
Emotional intelligence is so
23
00:01:32,320 --> 00:01:36,520
important because there are so
many things we don't control,
24
00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:42,520
right?
And so someone calling me about
25
00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:45,560
the things that they don't
control, and I'm like, you know
26
00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:47,800
what?
Stay at peace.
27
00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:51,680
Right.
Yeah, 'cause there's so many
28
00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:54,600
things we don't control, man.
I mean, people doing things for
29
00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:57,720
all kind of reasons, right?
So true.
30
00:01:57,720 --> 00:02:00,200
You know, they say, you know, we
like a family.
31
00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:03,440
You know, treat me like your
family did.
32
00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:06,920
Right.
You know, but, you know, and
33
00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:08,919
people are people.
There's a lot going on in the
34
00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:11,480
country.
People are stressed, you know,
35
00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:13,720
just all kind of things going
on.
36
00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:19,120
But if you can stay at peace,
and I believe the beat, the base
37
00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:25,120
of that peace is anchored in EQ,
right?
38
00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:28,240
Yeah, yeah 'cause we can't
control the scenarios.
39
00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:30,320
That's true.
That's true.
40
00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:33,520
You know that's true, Pastor.
But we can't control how we.
41
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,560
I'm sorry, but we can't control
how we react.
42
00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:37,920
That's the only thing you have
control over.
43
00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:41,040
That is the only thing you have
control over.
44
00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:46,360
Pastor Joe says it like this.
He says your your place of peace
45
00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:50,200
is your place of power.
Oh boy, that's good.
46
00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:54,080
If you can maintain your peace,
you can maintain your power.
47
00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:57,520
Wow, yeah, man, that's real good
right there.
48
00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:02,600
That's there's a lot in that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
49
00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:03,560
Because.
Again, right.
50
00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:06,840
You, you control what you say,
right?
51
00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:12,400
You control what you do.
You control the action and the
52
00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:15,360
reaction.
Yeah, yeah, right.
53
00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:18,000
I know one of the techniques we
talk about sometimes when the
54
00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:19,920
situation is going on, just talk
softly.
55
00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:22,560
Yes.
Because when you talk softly,
56
00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:24,000
you know what people do?
They lean in.
57
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,040
That's right.
They got to match you.
58
00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:27,720
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a good, it's a great
59
00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:29,960
technique.
It's a great technique.
60
00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:31,600
Yeah, yeah.
So good.
61
00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:34,760
I'm excited about today's show.
Awesome, awesome, awesome.
62
00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:38,120
So this is episode 5 of how
emotional intelligence can
63
00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:40,840
transform your leadership.
So we're gonna talk about
64
00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:44,760
personal growth today.
First topic is emotional
65
00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:47,920
intelligence and self-awareness.
So understanding your strengths
66
00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:50,680
and weaknesses, Terry, what
what, what comes to mind for you
67
00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:53,800
when you talk, when you think
about, you know, EQ and you're
68
00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:56,440
and being self aware of your own
strengths.
69
00:03:58,320 --> 00:03:59,600
Yeah.
I mean, you got to know you,
70
00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,640
right?
No one knows you better than
71
00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:05,040
you.
I think I've talked about this
72
00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:09,120
in the past, but there's an
exercise that I do, you know, in
73
00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:12,080
the morning sometime I do it in
the evening, I'll just get in
74
00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:15,440
the mirror, right?
And I'd look in the mirror and
75
00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:18,920
I'm not just looking at my
silhouette, so to speak, right?
76
00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:20,920
I think a lot of times when we
look in the mirror, we're
77
00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:25,160
looking really at the external
us, right?
78
00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:29,200
But I look in the mirror and I
look directly into my eyes.
79
00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:32,000
You know, the Bible says that
your eyes are the gateway to
80
00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:36,440
your soul, right?
So I look into my eyes and I and
81
00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:39,080
I, I, I'm like, Hey, who, who
are you?
82
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:44,440
Who do you want to be, right?
What, what is your purpose?
83
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:50,440
What is driving you right?
And I, I, I have these kind of
84
00:04:50,840 --> 00:04:56,920
internal self conversations and
then I state, Terry, this is who
85
00:04:56,920 --> 00:05:00,120
you are.
This is who you are designed to
86
00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:05,440
be.
This is your purpose on earth to
87
00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:10,040
serve those on earth for the
betterment of the Kingdom of
88
00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:13,320
God, right?
This is this is here's the
89
00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:19,680
thing, man, if we can align our
what and why to our purpose,
90
00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:29,080
that will help man fortify and
give you some direction in terms
91
00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:32,840
of, you know, what kind of
person, what kind of
92
00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:36,960
personality, what kind of
character do you want to show
93
00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:38,880
out there?
Right?
94
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,520
All these, these little
techniques are, are really
95
00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:46,800
crucial to really get beyond
what I'll call that out of
96
00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:51,080
surface of who we are, right?
Yeah, no, it's good.
97
00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:52,960
Yeah, it's really good.
It's really good.
98
00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:57,240
I know for me, when it, when you
talk about understanding your
99
00:05:57,240 --> 00:06:00,080
strengths and weaknesses with
EQ, it it really tell it.
100
00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:04,280
It really speaks to putting
myself in situations where I
101
00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:08,360
know I could succeed, right, in
avoiding putting myself in
102
00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:11,160
situations where I know I may
have a weakness in, right.
103
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:15,560
You know, there may be certain
conversations that you may not
104
00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:18,320
do well with because of issues
in your past or things of that
105
00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:24,760
nature.
Having the ability to use EQ to
106
00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:28,840
understand your emotions when
topics like that come up allow
107
00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:31,920
you to put yourselves in
situations where you can win and
108
00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:35,480
you don't have to worry about,
you know, react in a certain way
109
00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:38,280
and things of that nature.
So if you don't understand your
110
00:06:38,280 --> 00:06:43,160
own and your own emotions, then
you know, how can you avoid
111
00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:46,120
those situations, right?
Or look for the opportunities
112
00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:49,360
for your strengths to shine.
So I said it's a really good
113
00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:52,240
one.
What about setting goals and,
114
00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:54,560
and achieving personal growth,
right?
115
00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:57,960
What what what comes to mind for
you there with EQ?
116
00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:00,320
That's at the core, yeah.
Yeah, I think that's at the core
117
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:05,360
really raffle what leadership
sovereignty is all about, right?
118
00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:10,120
It is getting better each day.
And I'll I'll just give you
119
00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:15,040
know, an, an anecdotal, you
know, real life scenario, right?
120
00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:17,440
So my wife tells me all the
time, Terry, you come from a big
121
00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:21,800
family, so you tend to interrupt
people when you when you're in a
122
00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:25,760
conversation.
I work really hard on that to
123
00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:29,720
wait.
Now, I never saw it from that
124
00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:32,520
perspective, but it makes sense,
right?
125
00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:35,320
When you have six brothers and
two sisters.
126
00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:37,760
Yeah.
There's that's a big
127
00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:41,120
conversation, you know, when you
guys get together for holidays
128
00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:43,680
and whatnot.
And I'm sure there's something
129
00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:50,120
about that experience over the
length of my life that when I am
130
00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:54,200
in conversation, yeah, it's
something that I didn't really
131
00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:59,440
pay attention to or notice, but
it's something that I actively
132
00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:02,440
work on.
Like to this day when I'm, when
133
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:05,320
I'm speaking with someone.
Wait, let them finish their
134
00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:09,760
thought, right?
And, and, and not, you know,
135
00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:13,000
waiting to respond.
But yeah, I mean, just getting
136
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,200
better, right.
To your point about
137
00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:18,240
understanding your strengths and
weaknesses, right?
138
00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:22,080
So there are certain scenarios
that we're going to be in that
139
00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:24,920
we can't control, right?
There going to be certain
140
00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:27,720
triggers that we have.
And we know that those are the
141
00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:31,480
those are our triggers.
Some of them may be based in a
142
00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:34,280
life experience, right?
Some of them may be based in a
143
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:38,200
pattern that we were just born
in, right?
144
00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:43,159
And so we have to be aware that,
oh, OK, this, hey, just because
145
00:08:43,159 --> 00:08:45,920
your family does, it doesn't
mean it's right.
146
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:52,080
That's right, Right, Right.
You know what I'm saying?
147
00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:55,880
I'd be someone told the story
and my wife told me this.
148
00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:58,560
I'm sure you knew you, you may
have heard it too, But the story
149
00:08:58,560 --> 00:09:01,480
goes, someone was cooking a
roast, right?
150
00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:04,360
And they were like, why didn't
you cut the you know, why did
151
00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:08,880
you cut the butt off the roast?
Well, because grandma cut the,
152
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,440
you know, butt off.
And and so we've been doing it
153
00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:13,280
for generations.
As a matter of fact, Ralph, you
154
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:17,240
never even told me this story.
And then they went, well, let's
155
00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:21,680
go ask, you know, great granny,
why they, oh, man, great great
156
00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:24,480
grandma cut the butt off the
roast because the pan was too
157
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:30,800
small.
And so there are so many things.
158
00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:33,880
That's a great story because
there are so many things that we
159
00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:38,280
carry forward that have just
been these traditions, right?
160
00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:43,000
And, and it's OK to what I'll
say, challenge those traditions,
161
00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:45,000
right?
Not challenge in a way that's
162
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:49,240
going to be disruptive, but ask
the question, why, Why do we
163
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:53,600
communicate this way, right?
Why, why when we get together,
164
00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:58,400
you know, the resolution always
has to kind of, you know, take
165
00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:03,760
these 6 steps versus, you know,
there's a lot easier path.
166
00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:05,680
We got three steps that we can
get there.
167
00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:09,240
So I think it's, it's OK.
And, and then I'll say this,
168
00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:11,320
right?
I think the biggest lesson for
169
00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:14,880
me, and that is, and I'm still
learning things, right?
170
00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:18,120
When you are in a relationship,
of course, marriage is one of
171
00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:20,800
the easiest ones to, you know,
find this out.
172
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:24,720
But even in friendships, right?
You're going to find out that
173
00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:28,840
there are patterns and things
that in relationships people do
174
00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:33,240
that may grate you the wrong way
and you're like, oh, that's
175
00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:35,120
uncomfortable.
Well, when you start getting
176
00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:39,280
down to the bottom of it, it's
just that family or whomever had
177
00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:41,880
a different pattern, so.
Yeah, that's good.
178
00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:43,640
That's really good.
That's really good.
179
00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:47,840
I love how you talked about, you
know, just the, the whole
180
00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:50,920
interrupting thing, right?
And making it a goal for
181
00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:52,520
yourself.
You know, I'm, I'm going to
182
00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:53,920
become better in this area,
right?
183
00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:58,440
That's what it takes, right?
Is, is being real with yourself,
184
00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:00,600
right?
You know, looking at your
185
00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:04,040
emotions, using EQ to, to
analyze your emotions and
186
00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:07,280
saying, OK, this is something
that I can get better in, right?
187
00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:12,920
You know, for me it was, I think
for me, I think for me, it was
188
00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:17,600
in marriage.
It was not, not, not not
189
00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:22,600
listening to, to just to be
ready to say my part, right?
190
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:24,360
Because you could be in a
conversation and you're not
191
00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:26,080
listening to anything the other
person's saying.
192
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:29,600
I'm just waiting to say my part
because I think I'm right, you
193
00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:34,560
know, but thoughtfully listening
and, and active listening as, as
194
00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:38,000
they call it and, and really
asking deeper questions, you
195
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:39,680
know, to, to get a better
understanding, right?
196
00:11:39,680 --> 00:11:41,320
That was something that I had to
really work on.
197
00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:45,880
Sure, you know, because I like
to move fast and sometimes
198
00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:48,560
things don't move fast, right?
You got to slow down and take
199
00:11:48,560 --> 00:11:51,120
the time that they serve.
So that's good.
200
00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:52,760
It's good.
So let's let's go to the next
201
00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:54,520
one.
Emotional intelligence and
202
00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:57,920
resilience.
So overcoming challenges and
203
00:11:57,920 --> 00:12:00,840
setbacks, right?
So first thing that came to mind
204
00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:06,240
for me when I read that was it
is not what happens to you
205
00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:10,720
that's most important.
It's what you do after what
206
00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:13,160
happens that's most important,
right?
207
00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:17,520
You can have a bad incident.
And to Terry's point, he kind of
208
00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:22,160
opened up with it.
You cannot control what's what
209
00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:26,560
other people do You can't.
It is it is 100% out of your
210
00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:27,920
control.
And some of us think that we
211
00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:30,960
have the power to control what
other people do and we do not.
212
00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:35,760
God did not give us that power,
but what we have 100% complete
213
00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:41,200
control over is how we respond
to the things that come to us or
214
00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:44,600
the things that happened to us.
So by using emotional
215
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:50,120
intelligence, you can change
your outlook and perspective in
216
00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:56,560
context on how or what happened
to you in a positive direction
217
00:12:57,200 --> 00:13:00,760
that allows you to overcome that
challenge and that set back
218
00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:04,400
right, because those those are
the things that are completely
219
00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:07,760
within your control to do.
But I tell you what comes to
220
00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:10,160
what comes to mind for you, You
know, when we talk about
221
00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:13,040
overcoming challenges and
setbacks with EQ.
222
00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:15,840
Yeah.
Here's the thing.
223
00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:22,920
Any challenge that you are
facing, you know, I would say
224
00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:28,440
the number one thing we can do
as it relates to EQ is to look
225
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:31,880
at that challenge as an
opportunity, right?
226
00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:35,600
I think that is one of the
biggest areas of growth that we
227
00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:42,160
all can probably work on because
typically we look at a challenge
228
00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:45,960
or, you know, our set back as
something that is holding us
229
00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:48,880
back, something that's keeping
us from something.
230
00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:51,440
Here's the thing where I've
been, I've been, you know,
231
00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:56,760
studying this, this lesson about
that very thing, right?
232
00:13:56,760 --> 00:14:02,560
And so the, the, the orator of
the, of the lesson, I'm
233
00:14:02,560 --> 00:14:06,880
listening to he, he, he frames
it like this, right?
234
00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:13,000
Anytime a sword is, is is is
made, right?
235
00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:17,960
It's tempered, it's gone through
the fire and it's tested right.
236
00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:23,160
So that testing proves that it's
ready for its purpose.
237
00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:27,880
Think of it this way.
If there's a challenge that you
238
00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:33,280
are facing or there is a set
back that has occurred, look at
239
00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:36,480
and this is this is a this is an
element of EQ, right?
240
00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:43,040
Because our emotional
intelligence around dealing with
241
00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:50,680
salvaging situations is going to
be key because we're going to
242
00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:56,120
act out of whatever it is we're
experiencing, right?
243
00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:59,440
But if you can look at that
experience as, oh, I'm being
244
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:03,840
forged, I'm being, I'm being
proven right.
245
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:09,160
This is this is this is a
scenario that's or experience
246
00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:12,240
that I'm in that is growing me
right.
247
00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:18,640
So when you face any type of
salad, and so now it may not be
248
00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:21,560
something internal, maybe
something external, it may be a
249
00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:24,040
person.
So when you look at that
250
00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:29,320
scenario as, oh, OK, this is an
opportunity for me to grow and
251
00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:33,080
be forged as a stronger leader,
right?
252
00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:36,440
I'll, this may be an opportunity
for empathy, right?
253
00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:41,160
This may be an opportunity to
challenge, right, Ralph, just to
254
00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:47,280
kind of go back to the dreaded
drama triangle, right, right.
255
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:51,000
And so one of the biggest things
that we can do in those
256
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:55,360
challenging moments is to not
see ourselves as a victim,
257
00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:57,680
right?
So we have some opportunities,
258
00:15:57,680 --> 00:15:59,760
right?
I can be a challenger.
259
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,960
Most importantly, I can be a
creator.
260
00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:09,080
I can create out of any scenario
or situation that I'm in.
261
00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:12,600
Yeah, right.
Because creativity is my most
262
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:13,520
powerful tool.
Sure is.
263
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,080
That's awesome.
That is awesome.
264
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:18,000
That is awesome, man.
That is, that is fantastic.
265
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:22,800
Building resilience through
emotional regulation, by
266
00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:26,320
regulating our emotions, we can
build resilience that we can
267
00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:29,720
come to count on and depend on
ourselves, right?
268
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:34,680
I think it's a, it's a powerful,
you know, experience when you
269
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:39,280
start to regulate your own
emotions and you now become more
270
00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:43,920
resilient for yourself first,
which then allows you to become
271
00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:45,920
more resilient for others.
But I mean, what were your
272
00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:50,760
thoughts on that, Sir?
Wow, Ralph, I think that is that
273
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:54,600
is tremendous resilience for
yourself.
274
00:16:56,200 --> 00:17:05,720
I think there's no greater or
from a, from a, from a human
275
00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:09,319
standpoint, right, Other than,
of course, you know, the power
276
00:17:09,319 --> 00:17:13,560
of, of God.
But when you can rely on
277
00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:20,200
yourself, that's, that's a
pretty, that's a pretty, that's
278
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:25,520
a pretty heavy statement, right?
I can rely on myself and
279
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:32,840
situations of stress or
situations of eye concentration,
280
00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:39,480
situations that are demanding.
I can rely on myself to respond
281
00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:42,920
emotionally correct.
Yes.
282
00:17:43,360 --> 00:17:47,120
Right now, now, mostly correct
doesn't necessarily mean
283
00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:54,240
necessarily saying the perfect
thing, but it does mean the room
284
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,680
is being managed properly,
right?
285
00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:01,960
It's not saying you have to be a
perfect human being, but we're
286
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:06,440
all saying is that the energy in
the room, right, is being
287
00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:08,160
properly managed.
Because some things you're
288
00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:12,560
figuring out as you go, right?
Some, some scenarios are new,
289
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:15,200
right?
Some situations are new, but
290
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:18,880
because you've been practicing
and some of the key things that
291
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:23,640
we talked about earlier, right?
You've been practicing spiritual
292
00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:27,680
health, right?
You've been practicing physical
293
00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:34,480
health, you've been practicing
mental health, right?
294
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:37,400
You've been practicing
relational health.
295
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:41,280
So when you get into these
situations, now you can draw
296
00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:46,000
from that, right?
So you, your, your senses, your,
297
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:48,640
your ability to sense what's
happening.
298
00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:52,600
Because here's the thing, right?
We're talking to leaders here.
299
00:18:52,880 --> 00:19:00,120
And in these scenarios, people
are looking to you for the
300
00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:06,800
ballot, right, to maintain the
equilibrium in the room, right?
301
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:08,840
Because things are going to
rise, right?
302
00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:11,120
Temperatures are going to rise.
Yeah, yeah.
303
00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:13,000
That's right.
How do we manage it?
304
00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:14,400
Yeah, yeah.
That's good.
305
00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:16,480
Oh man, it's some good.
That's that's really, really
306
00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:18,240
good.
That's really, really good.
307
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:21,920
I mean, they're moving to the
the last major point about
308
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:23,840
emotional intelligence and
well-being, right?
309
00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:26,600
You know, the connection between
emotional intelligence and
310
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:29,720
mental health.
I, I, I believe that, you know,
311
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:34,360
strongly regulated emotions, you
know, produce a stable mental
312
00:19:34,360 --> 00:19:38,840
health, right?
Because when you are not a slave
313
00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:43,680
to your emotions, you just have
to just pop off and do whatever
314
00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:46,880
your emotions come to mind and
you actually regulate them.
315
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:53,200
You have a, a more stable mental
environment and, and, and, and
316
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:54,720
results in a stable mental
health.
317
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:56,720
But like what?
What are your your thoughts on
318
00:19:56,720 --> 00:20:00,760
that here?
Yeah, I believe you saying who
319
00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:06,280
you want to be or who you're
going to be is a part of that,
320
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:11,280
Is a part of that mental health,
right?
321
00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:14,440
Because you are.
Because here's the thing, we are
322
00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:18,000
becoming, right?
We are developing, always
323
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:23,080
growing, always learning.
And so when you practice who you
324
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:26,480
want to be, practice saying who
you want to be.
325
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:31,800
Right.
So just like if you want to get
326
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:35,320
some certification, you tell
yourself I'm going to get the
327
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:37,880
certification.
Well, when you start speaking
328
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:42,160
that over yourself, then your
your consciousness, your
329
00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:45,320
subconscious, all the things
that you are start to act
330
00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:47,680
towards that start to move
towards that.
331
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:51,960
So if you start saying I am
going to be a person that
332
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:56,160
operates with EQ, I'm going to
be a person of high character.
333
00:20:56,600 --> 00:21:02,840
I'm going to let my character
match my, my capacity and my
334
00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:07,360
skill level, right?
When you, when you start
335
00:21:07,360 --> 00:21:11,960
speaking that, then your being
starts to move towards that.
336
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:15,400
You start to create that
picture, right.
337
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:20,280
And so I love one of my favorite
books that I've bought, man, I
338
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:24,760
probably bought 6 or 7 copies of
this is the, is the book that
339
00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:29,920
Joel wrote the I am book, right?
And so when you start saying
340
00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:36,040
what you are, you start moving
towards that very thing, right?
341
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:40,160
Because again, I'm always going
to go back to, you know, my
342
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:48,680
anchor is, is the Bible.
And so one of the techniques in
343
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:53,600
there are one of the things that
it says about is look what you
344
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:55,200
say you are.
That's what you're going to be,
345
00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:59,360
right?
So as a man speaketh, so is he.
346
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:02,680
Out of the abundance of the
heart, the mouth speaks, right?
347
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:09,200
So if you're saying I am kind, I
am courteous, I am thoughtful,
348
00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:12,880
right?
I am a strong leader.
349
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:16,720
I am a leader with integrity.
I'm a leader with high
350
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:20,320
character.
I'm a leader that shows empathy,
351
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:23,760
right?
I'm a leader with balance.
352
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:31,840
I am not a leader with over
character, right and and and and
353
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:36,080
lack skill set, right, because
now I'm going to open compensate
354
00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:40,280
on the people side of things.
Yeah, I want my balance leader.
355
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:44,760
So, yeah, I think if we start
practicing those things, I think
356
00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:49,960
it's key for us as leaders
because we carry a lot of, at
357
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:52,880
the end of the day, man, there's
a lot on our shoulders.
358
00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:54,360
Yeah, that's right.
Right.
359
00:22:54,360 --> 00:22:57,280
There are a lot of people
looking to us for answers.
360
00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:02,480
And now it's not that we in and
our ourselves have all the
361
00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:04,640
answers, right?
There's another source.
362
00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:09,320
We have, you know, mentors,
right, mentees even kind of sold
363
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:12,440
back into us.
We have a Board of Governors
364
00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:17,240
that's, you know, one of the our
personal things that we, yeah,
365
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:20,520
our personal board rather where
there are folks that we can go
366
00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:22,720
to and say, hey, I haven't seen
this situation.
367
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:27,520
Can you, can you help me?
So all these things help in our
368
00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:32,840
mental Wellness because we're
not carrying that load all by
369
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:36,400
ourselves, right?
So that's where that relational
370
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:40,480
piece plays a role.
But I think just being balanced,
371
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:44,200
I, I just have to go back to,
to, to being balanced and
372
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:48,120
knowing that you don't have, I'm
going to take go back to this.
373
00:23:48,120 --> 00:23:51,480
I love this.
You don't have to know it all.
374
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:54,520
All you have to know is there is
an answer.
375
00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:57,920
That's right, Every day.
Every day you, you said
376
00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:03,160
something that made me think of
when you talked about how as a
377
00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:06,520
man thinketh, so is he.
I believe it was Henry Ford, if
378
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:11,240
I quote this correctly, said.
A man who believes that he can
379
00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:13,920
accomplish something, it's
right.
380
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:17,920
A man who believes that he can
accomplish something is also
381
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:19,360
right.
Yes.
382
00:24:19,360 --> 00:24:21,400
You will be what you believe you
are.
383
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:24,080
Yes, yeah, yes.
Yeah, yeah, that's so.
384
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:25,560
Good.
Yeah, because because here's and
385
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:29,560
I'm, I'm glad you said the word
believe because here's what's
386
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:31,760
really key about the word
believe, right?
387
00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:35,720
Your beliefs are anchored in
your convictions.
388
00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:42,080
So let's dig deep again, right?
What are your convictions?
389
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:47,960
These are the things that that
control your method of execution
390
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:52,760
and operation, right at A at a
human level, at a life level.
391
00:24:53,280 --> 00:25:00,560
So, you know, really digging
into that is going to help us as
392
00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:05,000
leaders really understand what
our true north is, what's
393
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:08,760
driving us, what's our purpose,
what's our passion, right?
394
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:11,960
Are we doing it for ourselves?
Are we doing it for the bigger
395
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:14,280
purpose, a bigger vision?
Right.
396
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:16,360
It's good, it's good, it's
really good.
397
00:25:16,360 --> 00:25:19,080
It's really good.
Then finally promoting emotional
398
00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:22,600
well-being and happiness.
You know, and the thing that
399
00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:26,240
came to mind for me here is we
have to prioritize our emotional
400
00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:28,360
well-being.
We have to prioritize our
401
00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:29,800
emotional well-being and our
happiness.
402
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:36,200
I, I came from a family of men
who believed in serving God and
403
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:40,640
taking care of their families.
Did they prioritize their
404
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:42,840
emotional happiness, emotional
well-being?
405
00:25:43,360 --> 00:25:45,960
Probably not as much as they
could have, right?
406
00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:49,000
And I, and I say all that to
say, you know, it's not a knock
407
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:52,680
towards them, but you could be
so focused on doing a good thing
408
00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:56,480
that you miss out on doing the
right thing, right?
409
00:25:56,960 --> 00:26:00,400
You have to be, it has to be
something that's top of mind for
410
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:05,360
you, because when it is top of
mind for you, then you can do
411
00:26:05,360 --> 00:26:09,000
the, the actions that you need
to do to prioritize your
412
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:11,920
emotional well-being.
I mean, thoughts on that, Terry?
413
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:16,600
Yeah, I'm just gonna say, man.
And Ken, I don't wanna.
414
00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:21,800
I think I'm just gonna, I think
as an African American man, we
415
00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:28,920
have to really focus in on that,
you know, because then the seats
416
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:31,720
that we're in just really been
transparent here.
417
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:36,160
You know, we, we, we're there,
there's not a lot of us in these
418
00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:39,680
seats.
And so we feel an extra burden
419
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:44,600
and wait sometimes because we do
want to prepare the way for the
420
00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:47,480
next generation, right?
I, I had a call a couple weeks
421
00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:51,480
ago with a gentleman who's,
who's in college and, you know,
422
00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:55,560
he's like Mr. Baylor, you know,
I'm taking some classes and got
423
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:58,880
a year left and really just want
to make sure that my career path
424
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:01,800
is in alignment.
And, and he saw what, you know,
425
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:04,480
what, what we're doing, you
know, aligns with, you know,
426
00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:08,760
where he wants to go on life.
And it really crystallized that
427
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:15,040
for me that we are creating a
pathway, you know, for the next,
428
00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:20,440
you know, generation of African
American leaders.
429
00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:25,920
And because we just, I mean, in
my career, man, I just didn't
430
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:28,680
have these conversations.
I just I.
431
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:30,000
Just I didn't.
Hear this stuff.
432
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:32,120
I didn't hear it.
I didn't hear it.
433
00:27:32,120 --> 00:27:37,240
And so I think it's important
that we are intentional about
434
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:42,280
this message and but it's also
important that we are
435
00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:48,600
intentional about sticking
around because because you know,
436
00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:53,320
when we're off doing our next
set of things, right, those
437
00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:55,720
gentlemen can have somewhere to
go.
438
00:27:55,720 --> 00:28:00,760
And, and I'm going to refer back
to our previous podcast with
439
00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:06,040
Lawrence Losco and we talked
about succession planning and he
440
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:09,880
talked about, you know, in order
to do that successfully, you
441
00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:11,560
have to have something you're
going to.
442
00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:16,800
So I think that's also a part of
our, our mental, you know,
443
00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:20,080
health and and understanding.
OK, guys, we need to be
444
00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:27,760
preparing to go to something so
we can be around right to, you
445
00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:29,360
know, to support the next
generation.
446
00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:31,200
Yeah, that's good.
Yeah.
447
00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:32,920
Yeah, absolutely.
I agree 100%.
448
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:35,360
We have a responsibility.
You're right in the seats that
449
00:28:35,360 --> 00:28:38,680
we that we sit.
And it's not just to, you know,
450
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:43,040
ourselves and our families, but
those who come after us because
451
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:45,640
there are those who went before
us to make sure that we have the
452
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:47,000
opportunity to sit in these
seats.
453
00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:51,400
So no, absolutely, 100% agree.
So this was excellent, excellent
454
00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:53,720
show.
We really dug into some really
455
00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:56,000
good Nuggets.
I think they're really going to
456
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:59,120
help those who are listening and
building their careers and
457
00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:03,080
things of that nature.
So we thank you and appreciate
458
00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:04,000
all the listeners.
Right.
459
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:07,800
Just want to give a heartfelt
shout out to those who listen,
460
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:10,440
listen every week.
And I'm just going to throw some
461
00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:12,640
names out there.
You all won't know who they are,
462
00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:15,360
but thank you, Gary.
Thank you, Kennedy.
463
00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:17,880
Thank you, Regina.
Thank you, Renee.
464
00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:21,160
You know, all the ones that
always reach out to us and and
465
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:24,800
always give us great feedback
and always, you know, support
466
00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:25,720
us.
Thank you very much.
467
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:27,000
Just want to give you a shout
out.
468
00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:31,200
Yes, thank you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
469
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:34,800
Well, until.
The next time, be blessed and we
470
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:40,960
will see you on the next show.
Thank you for listening to the
471
00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:44,600
Leadership Sovereignty Podcast.
If this content blessed or
472
00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:48,600
helped you in any kind of way,
support us today by subscribing
473
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:51,440
to our YouTube channel, clicking
the like button for this
474
00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:54,360
episode, and sharing this
content with others that you
475
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:57,640
think it will help.
Until next time, stay safe,
476
00:29:58,080 --> 00:29:59,640
peace and blessings.








