Don't Be the Angry Black Man — Take More Risks, Open Your Mouth: What Phillip McKibbins Would Tell His 20-Year-Old Self (Part 7 of 7)

Ralph Owens (00:00)
What would you tell your 20 year old version of yourself based on what you know today? What advice would you have for that, that young strapping man?

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (00:07)
you

Okay, my answer is going to be a little different than what I would have said earlier. Don't be the angry black man. ⁓ Take more risks. Open your mouth. Don't be afraid to be the only person in the room.

Terry Baylor (00:28)
Hmm.

Ralph Owens (00:32)
Welcome to Leadership Sovereignty, the podcast. In this episode, we ask, what would you tell your 20 year old self? For Philip McKevins, the answer is clear. Take more risk. Don't be afraid to be the only one in the room and stop comparing your journey to others. Phil shares powerful lessons on patience, purpose, and leading with calm confidence. Get ready. This conversation will challenge how you think about success. Enjoy the show.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (01:19)
All I think about is, is if we do the best that we could do today, and if we didn't, let's come back tomorrow with a better attitude. And it's so funny because my team, my chief of staff is always like, well, why don't you fight more? And I'm like, there's so many ways to fight. I've learned over time that

And excuse my expression, being the angry black man in the room is not gonna keep me in the room. It is gonna get me out of the room. So how about, yeah, be the calm, cool, collected person that is thinking about how do we solve this problem? And I keep going back to that former officer that asked me, did anyone die today? And I said, it's just TV.

Ralph Owens (01:52)
That's right.

Terry Baylor (01:53)
No, no, not that. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. EQ.

Ralph Owens (01:55)
That's right.

That's right.

Terry Baylor (02:12)
Bye.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (02:14)
It's just sports. It's just whatever. ⁓ you know, once we work hard and be on that continuum, put a little faith in works, you know, we're going to be okay. And people listening to this podcast have been blessed. They've been blessed to have you guys share your knowledge and wisdom. They've been blessed with the people that you've brought on.

And I just hope and pray that someone out there has received something today that's going to help them overcome some challenge. That's what it's about.

Ralph Owens (02:50)
That's

it. That's it. That's it. So Phil, we'll end with this one final last question.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (02:55)
OK.

Ralph Owens (02:56)
What would you tell your 20 year old version of yourself based on what you know today? What advice would you have for that, that young strapping man?

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (03:03)
you

Okay, my answer is going to be a little different than what I would have said earlier. Don't be the angry black man. ⁓ Take more risks. Open your mouth. Don't be afraid to be the only person in the room. ⁓ Stop looking at other people's success.

Terry Baylor (03:24)
Hmm.

Ralph Owens (03:33)
Hmm.

Terry Baylor (03:33)
Mmm.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (03:34)
Stop looking and then going, well, I should be there. Why not me?

And I don't know. Stop the self pity. Stop the doubt. And you know what? ⁓ Stay in school. Keep learning. Take every opportunity. Internships, apprenticeships, you know, be willing to work for far less knowing that your purpose in mind is you're in game.

you're in goal and do not be quick to anger and learn how to speak softer, quieter. You know, it's so funny because when my team has started to learn when Phil is angry, Phil is quiet.

Terry Baylor (04:18)
Mmm. Woo!

Ralph Owens (04:26)
Right.

Yeah, yeah. ⁓

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (04:31)
I am burning up inside, but I'm like,

I go breathe.

Ralph Owens (04:37)
Mm. Mm.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (04:40)
And I've told them, we're going to win, we're going to defeat this, we're going to overcome this. You know, I got a young man now, super talented guy, and these counsel are like, when am I going to get a raise? When am I going to be promoted? When am I? I'm like, in due time, it's coming. You know, it's not for lack of wanting you to have it, and you do deserve it, it's going to come. But what I've started the conversation now with,

Be promoted in your deeds. Stop worrying about the reward. You've already gotten the reward. It just hasn't manifested itself in the physical realm yet. You've gotten your reward in the spiritual realm. You're already doing the job and demonstrating that you need to be there. Now all we're gonna do is show everyone else beyond a shadow of a doubt that you're the guy.

Ralph Owens (05:18)
Mm.

Mm-hmm. That's good.

That's good.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (05:39)
All the riches and things that need to come to you are going to come to you in due time. you know, and once we are patient.

Terry Baylor (05:45)
Hmm.

Ralph Owens (05:46)
That's That's good. Wow.

Terry Baylor (05:48)
You are tremendous. You are a tremendous, let me just say this. You are a tremendous human being. Let's just, you know, I mean, because the most rich element of who we are is the core of who we are, right? Who are you as a person? And Phil, I believe you've shared so much of who

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (05:54)
⁓ man, wow.

Ralph Owens (06:11)
Mm.

Terry Baylor (06:13)
You are your core, right? What drives you? What's your mission? What's your work? That's what I hear, not your job. What I've heard today is your work and what God has set you on this earth to do, And I am super excited that this platform has allowed, ⁓ you've allowed us to hear your work. So thank you, man. Thank you so, so much.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (06:40)
Well,

I appreciate it and ⁓ it's an honor to be on here. It's an honor to be with you gentlemen. ⁓ It is so refreshing to find my colleagues that look like me, that go through the same struggle and that we're all a part of the brotherhood and that we're here together to support one another. ⁓ And ⁓ I love seeing people succeed.

Ralph Owens (06:54)
Yeah. Yeah. Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

Yes.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (07:09)
I can't wait to see you guys go to the next level and beyond because you're putting in the work and you're doing the things necessary to be recognized as true leaders ⁓ in this field. This week, I was blessed with an amazing honor. ⁓ A guy I had met six weeks ago.

sent me an email and said, I hope you don't mind, but I nominated you for Tech Titan of the Year in the state of Texas. And I was like, really? And he's like, yeah. And then he said, here's my write-up. And I'm reading it and I'm going, ⁓ my God, this is amazing. And we talked afterwards and he said, you had such an impact on me and dinner. He's like, look, we just have dinner. We're just folks talking.

Terry Baylor (07:44)
Mmm.

Wow.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (08:05)
And he was telling me about his career and the brother is brilliant. ⁓ And he's out of a job. And I was talking to him about, we're going to get back on that horse. And that we're going to stop the pity party. We're going to stop feeling sorry for ourselves because you're extraordinary. We're going to stop worrying about you're too overqualified.

Ralph Owens (08:29)
Hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (08:34)
and

we're just going to focus on delivering. And he was like, you made such an impact on me that night. He said, I went home and I started thinking about all the different things I've done. And I started thinking about all the jobs I've had. And he said, I wanted to put you in for this because I've never met anybody quite like you. And I was like, dude, you have no idea what this means for me.

I because, ⁓ you know, as great as things are going, look, I'm still facing the same thing everybody else is facing. I got people who are challenging my authority, people who want to question me. They can't spell technology, but they want to question technical decisions and they want to think that they're better, bigger, better, you know, and I share it with him, you know. ⁓

Ralph Owens (09:19)
Mm-hmm. ⁓

Mm.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (09:32)
I'm more excited for what this is going to mean for my team. I said, even if I don't win it, just being nominated means an awful lot to be recognized. And I shared with the committee a solution that we've been working on and that people are going to be blown away by it when it finally comes out because the NBA is adopting that solution as a standard.

Ralph Owens (09:41)
Yes.

Terry Baylor (09:41)
Yeah, it's huge.

Ralph Owens (09:55)
Mm.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (10:00)
You know, and I'm having to constantly have to try to help one of the key stakeholders understand that you don't do it the way you used to do it years ago. We're not in the client server realm anymore. I don't need to spend $1.5 million on something. I don't need to build my web server and my app server and all that. And that when you look at network storage compute, there's different ways to do it now.

Ralph Owens (10:00)
Mm-mm.

Right.

Mm-hmm.

Right, right.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (10:29)
and that we can be more nimble and we've got to be thinking growth. We got to be thinking future. And I go before the committee in a few weeks and all I'm gonna do is just tell them, we started with this problem with five departments doing their own thing, their own way. And we've come up with one way to do it. That's become efficient that allows everyone in the company to iterate on this asset simultaneously.

Ralph Owens (10:29)
That's right.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (10:59)
And that we're now going to give this content to the NBA. We're going to share stuff like we've never done before. And that I'm going to Vegas in three weeks and I'm going to share with 31 other teams. This is how we did it. Here's the blueprint. You can do it too. Good luck, because I want you to succeed. it's no charge from me.

Ralph Owens (11:05)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Wow. It's amazing. That's amazing.

Terry Baylor (11:24)
awesome.

Wow.

Ralph Owens (11:28)
That's amazing. That's amazing. That's amazing. Brother, I can't even begin to express gratitude enough. This has been God ordained and we appreciate it. We thank you. ⁓ Thank your wife for allowing her to share you with us, please. Because we want to stay in Ms. McKibbin's good graces.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (11:28)
Anyway

Hmm.

Terry Baylor (11:34)
Yes.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (11:37)
Thank

Terry Baylor (11:46)
Exactly, exactly, exactly.

Yes.

Ralph Owens (11:51)
Hahaha

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (11:51)
Well, Mrs. McKibbins is an amazing woman. She is as beautiful as she was when I saw her 46 years ago in my dream. ⁓ And she's an amazing wife, an amazing mother, an amazing lover. And, you know, we just renewed our vows.

Ralph Owens (12:04)
right?

Terry Baylor (12:04)
Wow.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (12:18)
⁓ two weeks ago. And I told her that that moment is top five life moments now. That 1A and 1B is the birth of my two children and number two is renewing our vows. said because when we did it, you know, 44 years ago, we got married at the drive-through wedding chapel by Elvis.

Terry Baylor (12:21)
awesome

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (12:49)
And two weeks ago, we got married at the drive-through wedding chapel by Bruce Wayne. Actual dude's name was Bruce Wayne Batman. And the vows, we wrote our own vows. And I was so blown away by what she was saying and what we shared with one another and the wisdom and the growth and what it means to commit to one another. And I'm so honored that she would choose me.

Ralph Owens (12:57)
You

Terry Baylor (13:01)
Wow.

Ralph Owens (13:15)
Yeah.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (13:20)
because it was a choice ⁓ and that she's a spectacular woman and she is the truly ⁓ the cream in my coffee. ⁓ She is the sun to my moon. And every time I listen to Stevie Wonder's ass, I think of that woman ⁓ and.

Ralph Owens (13:45)
Mm. Yeah.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (13:47)
She means an awful lot to me and it's an honor to be her husband and a privilege. So man, oh boy, I'm just so excited.

Ralph Owens (13:54)
That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I love it. I love

Terry Baylor (13:59)
You had a moment. He had a moment right there.

Ralph Owens (14:00)
it. I love it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, was you getting giddy? I think he was getting giddy too. Hey, I love that, man. That's beautiful, man. To have that love like that for 44 years. ⁓ That's amazing, man.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (14:11)
Mm.

Terry Baylor (14:12)
It is.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (14:14)
Well, I

just can't get over that she's still with me. The ups and the downs and the stuff we've been through and I'll tell anybody. And I gotta give a shout out to my main man, Matt Messick, the CIO of the Cowboys who's become a great friend. When I met that brother two weeks in and he told me everything that was gonna happen to me. And first I was like, ⁓ nah, and everything did. And I had a chance to talk to him about it.

Ralph Owens (14:21)
Yeah.

Mm.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (14:41)
And being in these positions is not what people think. mean, folks are coming at you right and left and you're going to face some challenges. And to know that my wife has stuck with me and put up with all those challenges. And I've learned that ⁓ it's an honor and a privilege to have her travel with me, to enjoy this with me and to deal with the wackiness.

Ralph Owens (14:45)
Mm. Yeah. Yeah.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (15:10)
Because, you know, being with an NBA franchise, is, ⁓ I look at it like this, it's sort of like being on a reality show. ⁓ So I call this place the Real Housewives of the Dallas Mavericks because it is, there are days that you're just like, cannot believe this happened, you know? And in other days, it's the greatest ever. It has its peaks and valleys, its arcs.

Ralph Owens (15:31)
Yeah

Mm-hmm.

Terry Baylor (15:35)
Yeah.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (15:37)
⁓ You know, but sports teams are families. And I tell you one thing, boy, if these boys are healthy, I'm going have a ring next year. I'm going to get a ring. Yeah.

Ralph Owens (15:48)
Mmm.

Terry Baylor (15:49)
it's going to be, it's going to be, yeah, it's something special. It's

Ralph Owens (15:51)
Yeah.

Terry Baylor (15:53)
something, something special for sure. I'm looking forward to seeing that. A buddy of mine was like, you know, he's going to New York or something like that. I'm like, bro, I don't know. You just got to wait, see what happens. And he actually lives in Dallas now. So I'm going to give him a call today and be like, bro, he was totally off, but I know you go enjoy it though.

Ralph Owens (15:56)
Yep.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (16:15)
Stay healthy and it reminds me of the story about when we got AD, ⁓ my wife, I mean, we're Laker fans, all right? I'm not ashamed to say it, still love the Lakers. ⁓ And when she got here, she's become full Dallas Mavericks. And when they traded for AD, she was like, man, he's always hurt, blah, blah, blah, blah. And when she met him, ⁓ my God.

Terry Baylor (16:35)
Mm-hmm.

Ralph Owens (16:43)
Hmm.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (16:43)
You know, she went up to him,

hey, I'm a Cali girl. I love you. And next thing I know, he's taking pictures with her. Great dude, phenomenal person. And he's like telling me, oh, little guy, you're going to take the picture. And I'm like, little man, you're going to take the picture. And then, it was funny. He was being funny. I cracked up laughing. And my wife is all hugged up with him. And I was just like,

Terry Baylor (16:50)
Hehehehehe

Ralph Owens (16:53)
⁓ Hmm.

Terry Baylor (16:56)
Awesome.

Ralph Owens (17:00)
Yeah.

Terry Baylor (17:05)
Yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ralph Owens (17:10)
Mm.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (17:11)
We got in the car and I was like, what happened to all the stuff he was saying about him before? She's like, I'm an AB fan and the Mavs are gonna win. And oh man, that woman loves the Mavs. And I love the Mavs too. I just have had this lifelong love affair with the Lakers. But you know what? I will root for LeBron, but I didn't came to the other side. We're gonna be a toast.

Ralph Owens (17:18)
Yeah.

You

Mm.

Terry Baylor (17:40)
It's gonna be fun. It's gonna be fun to watch. It's gonna be fun to watch.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (17:41)
Oh man, I tell people, get your tickets

Ralph Owens (17:41)
Yeah.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (17:45)
and your popcorn, get to the American Airlines Center, come see the Mavericks. We stay healthy. We're going to, we're going to go far. And I see an NBA championship coming to this city in the next couple of years. And I really want to hear those people that were yelling, fire Nico. I want to hear what they have to say. You know?

Ralph Owens (18:09)
Hmm.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (18:10)
And we're going to pull a Michelle Obama and be like, when they go low, we go high. We're just going to do this. We're just going to show the ring.

Ralph Owens (18:17)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just showed me the ring. That's right.

Terry Baylor (18:22)
Phil, you are an amazing person, just, again, I just want to just echo that over and over and just appreciate you, man, and showing your humanity and just how rich of the stories, man. Man, just, man, I'm, again, I'm speechless. I'm just, I don't really know what to say, so.

Ralph Owens (18:41)
⁓

How could people reach out to you and stay in contact with you or follow you? ⁓

Terry Baylor (18:48)
That's great.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (18:49)
wow.

Interesting. I would have answered it one way a year ago. Now I answered it little differently because I've had a few stalkers. So I've had to learn to be a little bit more cautious of that. Look, I'll tell people, if you want to reach out to me, shoot me an email. You can reach me at philip.mckibbins at dallasmaths.com.

Ralph Owens (18:58)
Okay.

you

Terry Baylor (19:04)
Yes.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (19:16)
⁓ And that spelling is P H I L L I P dot ⁓ C K I B B I N S at Dallasmans is one word.com. ⁓ Look, I seek to ⁓ be there for people ⁓ and anybody listening that wants encouragement, that wants somebody just to listen to them or wants to shoot some ideas by someone.

If I don't have the answer, I have a legion of people that I know in this industry that I can put them in contact with. I want to help mentor people and be a resource for folks, especially young folks that are trying to get into the profession. And they're so fortunate because, you know, I was talking to my wife about this the other day and we were looking at our niece and we were going, you know, man, wouldn't it have been nice if we would have had computers when we were her age and...

Ralph Owens (20:14)
Hmm. ⁓

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (20:14)
You know, she can barely spell, but she sure knows how to work that computer, you know. And, but I want to be there as a resource for people, young professionals. ⁓ And I will be speaking at the Latinas in Tech Conference on the 16th. ⁓ And I think I'm scheduled to be at Penn State for ⁓ their engineering and computer science kickoff.

I'll be addressing a lot of their students. ⁓ And I'm constantly going to try to get out and just share, share the word with people, share, you know, this wonderful profession that we're in. ⁓ And I just want to be a mentor for people. So ⁓ feel free to drop me a line, send me an email. ⁓ And those who want to call me, I'm even going to you my phone number. You can reach me at Erico323303.

Ralph Owens (21:12)
You

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (21:13)
4120 and would love to be able to talk to you. And if I have the time, because I'm going to make the time, I want to help you on your journey. So I hope that helps.

Ralph Owens (21:29)
Awesome, awesome, awesome. Well, ⁓ I don't think there's anything left to say. You left it all on the floor, my friend, and I appreciate it.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (21:34)
Thank you. ⁓

Terry Baylor (21:35)
my gosh, ⁓ my gosh, you,

you man, hey, you are definitely ⁓ a great role model, man. Great role model. Thank you.

Ralph Owens (21:44)
Yeah. Yeah. Thank you so much

for you. We really appreciate it.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (21:47)
Well,

Ralph and Terry, thank you for having me. Look, anytime you want me to come back on and be more than happy to, ⁓ you know, I'll probably be doing one of these things myself soon. So I got to have both of you on because I know.

Ralph Owens (22:01)
yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, anything,

Terry Baylor (22:02)
Yeah, any tips you need, any

tips you need, we'll pass on everything we've learned. Yep.

Ralph Owens (22:05)
anything you need, man, we got it. Yeah, absolutely.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (22:07)
OK, OK, well, I will take you up on

it and and got to get you out to a game. ⁓ We're going to do some amazing things in American Airlines Center this year and would love to have both of you come as my guests. I'll make sure you get to VIP too, so you know.

Ralph Owens (22:14)
We'd love to.

We appreciate you brother. Hey,

Terry Baylor (22:26)
⁓ man, ⁓ man,

I make sure I got all my Dallas Mavs blue.

Ralph Owens (22:30)
I'm about to tell Lock Power, said, hey, Phil got us the VIP treatment. ⁓

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (22:32)
There you go.

Hey, I will get you the VIP.

Look, I haven't been around all types of big time actors and singers, celebs. I mean, because that's been an entertainment business. It is a joy to be in the American Airlines Center at the event level, watching those guys come out, seeing someone as great as Kyrie.

Terry Baylor (22:42)
⁓

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (23:05)
Kiss his daughter before every game and just, it's such a beautiful thing. And then seeing those Titans go out and go to battle and do what they do. And ⁓ it's such a joy. And I wish our fans to see more behind the scenes. I wish them to see more success. This young fella is a beast.

Ralph Owens (23:05)
Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

Terry Baylor (23:08)
Mmm... Yeah.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (23:33)
He's the real deal. And I don't say that about rookies. That cat's the real deal. When AD is saying he went to play against the Olympic team and was busting them up, that dude's the real deal. So I'm like, get your popcorn ready. Get your ⁓ Cooper flag jerseys. Come out and watch. ⁓ Coach Kidd said yesterday,

Ralph Owens (23:47)
Mm. Mm. Mm. ⁓

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (24:01)
Hey, I want to put him at point against the Lakers game one. And I'm like, man, whoa, I saw a hole. That's the case. That is going to be, and I'm only hoping it's in Dallas. That will be, those tickets will be some of the hardest tickets to get. It'll be must see and it will be the most watched game of the year by far, by far. So.

Ralph Owens (24:05)
yes.

Terry Baylor (24:10)
Mm, mm, mm.

Ralph Owens (24:16)
Right.

Terry Baylor (24:20)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ralph Owens (24:21)
Mm.

Sure will, sure will.

Terry Baylor (24:26)
Yeah. Yeah.

Ralph Owens (24:28)
Yeah, yeah.

Terry Baylor (24:28)
Yeah. He is a beast. My son had a chance to see him play and he was like, dad, he had 28, but it was an easy 28. It was like, he was like, was he working?

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (24:35)
Yeah.

Ralph Owens (24:37)
Mm.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (24:38)
Yeah,

hey, you know, listen to him talk about the most challenging games I had was in our backyard in the driveway playing my brothers and my mom. I was like, that's real, you know, that young man, God willing and God bless him. And I pray for his health, physical and mental. ⁓ And I pray that his season is not only a great season, but he's able to handle it.

Ralph Owens (24:38)
Mm. Mm.

Terry Baylor (24:47)
Wow.

Ralph Owens (24:49)
Wow. Wow. Wow.

Terry Baylor (24:49)
Wow.

Yes.

Phillip Gregory McKibbins (25:08)
⁓ and just enjoy, you know, so and our fans are going to be blessed with something really special.

Terry Baylor (25:16)
Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Great show today, Ralph, as usual, you're the great chef that you are.

Ralph Owens (25:16)
Awesome. great show. show. man.

No, brother, that's

you. That's you bringing the insight, the right insight with the right questions. We appreciate you brothers and audience until the next time. We talk to you soon.

Terry Baylor (25:34)
God bless everybody.