TED recap. Pt. 4

Welcome to Leadership Sovereignty. I'm your host, Terry Baylor, along with Ralph Owens. Today, we'll answer questions how your accuser is positioning themselves as your rescuer, how the rescuer's goal is to take away your power, how the challenger encourages the creator to use their own self power, and how the root of

the challenger is love. Enjoy the show. Ralph, I was thinking about this man. We, you know and I don't spend a whole lot of time talking about this dude because he ain't got no power. But one of the things we have to understand what he's constantly doing is accusing.

He's always saying what you're not. He's always saying what you can't achieve. He always saying who's better than you. He always trying to point out your you know, the things where you lack. Never never is there anything said about what you've achieved.

At the root of all of this, there is somebody trying to blame you.

Yeah. Trying to make you feel like a victim. Yeah.

Trying to make that's exactly. Exactly. So guys, at the the root of this stuff, man, we don't get too deep into it. But these are all spiritual concepts, man.

That's right. That's right. That's right. And and then think about that for just for a quick quick moment just to touch on that. Right?

When a person comes in because I think in that role, Terri, what you just said, the example you just gave, that person is trying to be your rescuer. Right? Because they're trying to make you see how powerless you are and I'm gonna be the one to give you that power so I can leverage you right, to doing something that I want you to do. You can see it all around you. You you can see it all around you.

I'm your rescuer. Things are not gonna be good until I get what I want because you don't have this and you don't have that and you don't have this and you don't have that. Right?

Wow. Man, I had a conversation like that the other day and I was really analyzing it going, what is the real intent of this conversation? Wow, why don't you just show me something?

Yeah, it's deep because it's everywhere around us. Somebody fits in one of those three categories. Right? Right. And that rescue that rescue is a dangerous thing, man.

Because I I think I mentioned it earlier in the show. A rescuer's whole purpose is to take the victim's power away so that they can leverage them. Think about that, man. That could be a political party. Right?

I'm just saying. Yes. Yes. They wanna they wanna take your power away and make you dependent upon them to give you something. Wow.

So they can keep you powerless.

Wow.

It's it's interesting. Yeah. It's it's it's an interesting concept. But creator, I am a creator. Say it after me.

I am a creator.

A creator.

I create my own situations.

I create my own situations.

And I am not a victim.

And I am not a victim.

That's good,

man. Ralph, that's amazing.

Let's hit this next one. So we talked about the antidote to the victim. Now let's talk about the antidote to the persecutor. So remember, a persecutor must have a victim looking to punish and is looking to take the power away from a victim. Whereas the challenger challenges the creator to use their power.

Right? So it's not the challenger is not trying to take power away, but they're trying to challenge the creator to use their own self power. And the beauty in that is it brings clarity to the creator on what it is they say they think they want. Right? So a challenge is gonna ask you those great questions.

I love that example that you gave Terry, in this episode about asking those questions to that person. I think the situation was they said that I can be accountable to myself. And you were like, maybe. Right? But let me ask you a few questions.

You know? But you said you wanted to do this, but you didn't do that. You said you wanna do this, but you didn't do that. And in that moment, that person gained clarity because you said they can't they thought about it and they came back and said, you know what? You're right.

By you challenging them with the right questions and not trying to persecute them for not doing this and not doing that, you allowed them to gain clarity in that moment, which allowed them to use their power to get what they wanted. Right? So that that that's what that challenger does. But, I mean, what are your thoughts on that, Terry? Because I think you're one of the best challengers I've ever met.

I think challenging is a root of love, man. And and I'm a tell a real life situation, real life situation. Because man, my wife been using the Jedi mind tricks on me, man. She'd been listening to the show, me and Noah out the other day and so we're golfing. And I'm like, hey, we're gonna take this line, do this, boom, here's your target.

And he does something different. I'm like, son, what are you thinking? I'm just trying to get into his mindset. Why did you take that line versus you took a more aggressive line which introduces So golfers would understand that a more aggressive line that's gonna bring in danger. I said, but if you don't wanna have me kind of catty today, I'll let you play on your own.

He made the decision to play on his own and I'm saying ball after ball. I'm like, why is he taking these aggressive lines? So I call Shamika, right? And so she'd be listening to like the same episode two or three times. She digging out all the gold, all the treasure.

She's getting all the treasure out

of these.

And she knows she hits me with She said, well, babe, why don't you She asked me a question. Well, have you considered doing what God does with us? He allows us to make the decision and see the outcome of it and allow him to understand the consequence of these decisions he's made. But grudgingly, I was like, yeah babe, you're right. That question, mean, what was I gonna say?

No. I'm not

Just put the jet out.

But listen, when you but the thing is, man, it was done in such just a tone of love, right? Because here's the thing, we can and again, I'm being transparent here, right? After about hole number nine, I want to know, I'm like, so you ready for some advice? Now, was that a question in a, I'm being transparent here, was that a question in a challenger's voice or was that a question in a rescue or

or Persecutor.

Persecutor voice.

Yeah. Yeah.

You see what I'm saying?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You just you just you just really you just opened my mind to something too because you're right. God will tell us to do something and then we don't do it.

And he allow us to experience it. Right? And in that moment, I can understand why you may have been frustrated because it's like, I'm trying to tell you something to save you from going through all of this. But yet, okay, if you need to see it, you need to see it. Right?

But just like God is compassionate and he's patient with us. To your point in asking that question was I it was it was a question but from what persona was it being asked

From what persona? That is so true. Yeah. Yeah.

Because we can get into the semantics of this thing. Well, I asked the question.

Exactly. Exactly. But what tone? What tone? So that night, right?

And I always think over my day, we've always talked about this, right? I play my days back, I play the day back through and work it out. We have to be retrospective, right? Because this is how one of the tools of Guys, please take note of this. One of the tools of growth is retrospection.

We all have to get some quiet points in our day where we can sit back and think about what transpired in my day.

Intentional quiet points, not if it happens, it happens, if it doesn't, it doesn't. It's playing time.

That morning I went up to Noah, he was in his bed, I was like, hey bro, I wasn't the best version of myself yesterday, man, so I apologize to you.

That's so powerful.

And he was like, dad, I understand. I said, so next time we go out, we're gonna go and do it this way, I'm gonna ask questions this way and still it's your call on what you, how we transpire, right? Because this is, again, just like it's our life, right? God lets us choose and one way I heard it said too, which is one of the most beautiful ways I've heard it, God's love for us in allowing us to make our choice, his protection, this was so great, his protection is how far he will let the consequence go or how deep he will let the consequence be.

That's good. You see

what I'm saying? But yeah, man, so that we have to all daily on this journey. But Ralph, I love that about the challenger and being the challenger and allowing ourselves to be challenged is so critical. Thank you for being with us today on Leadership Sovereignty. Stay connected with us on X formerly known as Twitter, and on Instagram by searching for leadership sovereignty.

And just like this podcast, let's all collectively grow as we go. God bless.