TED recap. Pt.1

Welcome, and thank you for tuning in to the Leadership Sovereignty Podcast. I'm your host, Ralph Owens, along with Terry Baylor. In today's episode, we'll cover topics such as why excavating is essential to creating a good foundation, How do you play a role in being led by a good leader? What is true leadership and the power of telling yourself I am not a victim? Enjoy the show.

Alright. Hello, world. We are live.

Excited to be back. Excited to be back.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. So this episode, we'd like to recap, the dreaded drama triangle and the empowerment dynamic that we've been talking about over the past few weeks. To recap, we have six roles. In the dreaded drama triangle, you have three of those six.

The first is the victim, the persecutor, the rescuer, And then in the empowerment dynamic, you have the creator, challenger, and the coach. So if we recap each one of these starting with the victim, the victim is the one that says everything bad is happening to me. They are powerless. They view themselves as powerless and they must have an identified persecutor in order to be a victim. So Terry, let's talk a little bit about some practical ways to to not use that mindset and how to execute being better.

Sure, sure. So Ralph, just before we started here, some of the things that we were talking about is essentially, you know, when you build any house, right? The first thing that the builder starts to focus on is excavating. And I man, now this is just this just hit me. I think we're gonna go somewhere right now that you didn't anticipate going.

I definitely didn't anticipate going, but when you build a foundation, you have to excavate first. Does that mean? Some stuff has got to come out.

That's right. So You

can't you can't lay a good foundation without understanding what the surface and the under surface, right, looks like. Right? You could have, who knows, right? You could have roots running through there. You could have, it could be a well up under the place where you're trying to dig, right?

That's how we get sinkholes and all that kind of thing, right? So let's look at that in terms of our lives and let's look at that in terms of experiences and let's look at that in terms of habits. So Ralph to hit back on the point though is how do we practically execute on what we just learned? Well, off is we have to build a good foundation. So Ralph and I went about building that foundation initially, right?

Hey, let's just describe what leadership is. Let's give some examples. Let's give some times where we've seen average leadership, we've seen poor leadership, but we've also talked about what it looks like when you see great leadership. And so that was the first aspect of that. Now in that process, there were some excavating that occurred, right?

Because sometimes we thought leadership was, I'm gonna tell you what to do and I'm gonna make you do it. That's a good leader. No, that's a dictator. So we have to excavate out some of those things. And then also too, we define that in order for there to be a good leader, there is a position that we have to put ourselves in to be led.

Are we confrontational? Are we passive aggressive? Right? Hey, are we anticipating and waiting and excited to get at the challenge, right? All these things.

So again, so just again guys, just laying foundation. Well, the next aspect of that is understanding, okay, there are some dynamics at play that I may not really clearly understand. And I may see myself a certain way, I may see others around me a certain way and it's actually in a way controlling the way I see the world and how I interpret it and how I see my place in the world. And this is where we really began to dig in into the dreaded drama triangle. Right?

Because how you see One of the biggest things I've learned about leadership and those who really dig into it, what they say or what they've taught, and we can cite several examples of this, true leadership is finding your purpose in the world. What is your gift? We've heard this Raph, what is your gift? Serve it to the world. The one who serves their gift best will achieve the most.

Absolutely. And it's all based on purpose. So again, building this foundation. So now I know my purpose, well let me start, I know my gift, I know my purpose, I know my target audience who I should serve it to, how do I do that when every opportunity I get or every step or hurdle that I climb, it appears that there's always something or someone opposing me and I feel like why is this always happening to me?

Right, right, yeah. So

in that right, how can we really serve our gift the best when we are, again, how we see ourself in relationship to the world.

That's good.

So the goal in all of this man is to really, hey, let me frame my world around my true identity. Not the one that, I heard this yesterday, I'm gonna share this and I think it goes into this. Make sure I say it right. Said that freedom is being truly liberated but education is thinking that you're free.

It's heavy, man.

Hopefully I said that right but it was saying that liberation is true freedom but education makes you think you're free. That's heavy, right?

Yeah, that's heavy, yeah.

I think it was even along the lines of, no, hold on, let say it one more time, I got it now. It said liberation is being free to think. Education has you thinking you're free. You see what I'm saying? So that goes back to that concept of these systems that we're in, right?

Because they're helping us, they're putting us in this mode to be really leveraged. And so now we want to be these great people. We wanna be these great leaders. Ralph, you said this. How can we lead these fortune 500 companies?

How can we be the CIOs, the CEOs, the CTOs, the CFOs and we're walking in the door thinking somebody's doing something to me.

Right, right. Yeah. It's, I love the way you put it. It is framing the way you see the world and how the world sees you and how you see yourself, right? For some people they've never heard of these terms spoken the way we said them.

But if you look at everyone around you, you'll see every role being played out every single day, in conversations that you're in. So yeah. No. I agree. I agree.

So so that victim that victim powerless is the one with no power. Right? They see themselves as powerless. They, they must have a persecutor, whoever it may be, it may be the government, it may be Sally, it may be Bob, but they have a persecutor and they feel like they're powerless and there's nothing that they can do. This is the absolute persona that you do not wanna see yourself as because it will always keep you being a victim, limited, never able to do more than what you currently have today.

It is the one persona that we see actually most in the world. Right? But if you get it, we'll move on to the next one then.

Yes, sir. You know what, Ralph, one of the things I wanna say around that, because here's really really like the gold man here today is, you know, I really just wanna kinda encourage everybody and say, look guys, man, I got this affirmation I say every day and one of the topics in it has to do with being free. And whether you are a believer in the way that Raf and I are or not, there are certain concepts, man, that are universally true. And so the bottom line is if you've been freed from something, then walk in the freedom of that. So the scripture that I'm referring to, it says, whom the son has set free is free indeed.

That's right.

So here's the thing though, there's a certain level of power that God has given every man and woman in the earth. If you walk away from something and you say, I don't wanna be that anymore and then you start exercising that, then declare that you are free. What I wanna encourage everybody today on who's listening to this podcast, man, is to, you know what, we gonna do a little exercise today. Just say to yourself, hey, I'm a be honest, I'm just being super transparent. There are times when I walk in my bathroom and I look in the mirror and I look myself in the eyes, I mean, I'm looking deep into my eyes.

The Bible is true when it says, hey, through the eyes, hey, that's the gateway to your soul. I'm looking at myself and you know what I tell myself, Terry, you can do this, man. You got everything it takes to win at this. You a bad man.

That's right.

And I'm serious, sometimes guys, you have to take some time to encourage yourself. And so I would really want everyone who's listening to this right now to really just take a moment, you can say it softly in your mind because we speak inside of there all the time. Don't tell how many conversations we having inside of there. Yes sir. Yes sir.

Yeah. Or you can say it verbally out loud. I am free. Yes. I am not a victim.

I am not a victim.

You hear yourself say that I am free, I am not a victim.

You know what? And let me let me just add something there. There's something very powerful about audibly speaking those things. When you make those statements, your ears hear your what your mouth is saying and your spirit receives it. Right?

This is why confession is such a powerful thing because you can you can say these confessions even when you don't feel it, but the more you hear it and your spirit receives it, the more it becomes more encouraged. Right? So I I agree a 100%. You have to say to yourself out loud, not just in your head, out loud, I am not a victim. Your spirit needs to hear you say that and you need to believe that in all of your heart because the bible says I'm the head and not the tail.

Right? We can can we can run them down. We can run down all the scriptures where God tells you that you are not a victim but you have to believe that about yourself. Thank you for listening to the Leadership Sovereignty Podcast. We hope that you not only enjoy the content but gained something to help you on your personal leadership journey.

Feel free to reach out to us on x and Instagram under the handles Leadership Sovereignty. Until next time, stay safe, peace, and blessings.