The Empowerment Dynamic. Pt.1

Welcome, and thank you for tuning into the Leadership Sovereignty Podcast. I'm your host, Ralph Owens, along with Terry Baylor. In today's episode, we'll answer questions such as, what is the dreaded drama triangle? Why do we sometimes think like a victim? What does it mean to think like a victim?

And why there's power in choosing the way you look at yourself? Enjoy the show. Alright. We are live. Hello, world.

You got something on store today, that's all I'm gonna say. Something is, it's in the hopper. What do you say? The biscuit is in the basket.

Yes, yes and yes. As you can tell, Terry and I are extremely excited about today's topic. We are going to talk about a book that we both read called The Power of TED, t e d, The Empowerment Dynamic. Again, the title of the book is The Power of TED, The Empower Dynamic. It's written by an author named David Emerald.

It's a small book. I would say relatively a short read. Honestly, a lot of people that I talk to, they read this book. They all say, I hated that book. But, when they get to the content, the meat of what is being, taught in the book, it changes your life.

Right? I remember the first time I read this book, Terry, I I could not see the world differently anymore. It put those lenses on my eyes that now I can't unsee this. Right? And I'm constantly judging and evaluating, situations and people that I come in contact with as a result of this book.

Any opening thoughts for you?

Yeah, so I'll tie in. I was one of those guys that was like, man, this book. But to Ralph's point, if you can commit to reading it, the concepts that are in the book, the ideas, you're just gonna, quite honestly, you're gonna see yourself differently. As much as you will be able to utilize this information and leverage it in every experience you have with others, I believe the biggest differentiator is gonna be with how you see yourself and how you understand who you are in different situations. What particular aspect are you playing?

So Ralph, let's do this. How do you feel about laying the groundwork on the three principles? I guess in terms of, maybe it's probably more than three, but those core principles and then we can kind of get into the meat of it.

Yeah, absolutely. So the thought behind it is there is what's called the dreaded drama triangle. And this is basically a thought around the approaches that people think from. Right? And in this triangle, there are three different roles.

The the main role is the victim. The secondary role is the persecutor. And the third role is the rescuer. So let's just jump in right there. It talks about central role being the victim.

So what does that mean exactly? And I love this title that they have for victim. It says, victimhood, the death of a dream. And it says that victims may be defensive, submissive, over accommodating to others, passive aggressive, in conflict, and depending on others, self worth, overly sensitive, even manipulative. They're often angry, resentful, and envious, feeling unworthy or ashamed about their circumstances.

And then it says, at the core of any victim, you'll find the psychic death of a dream. All victims have experienced loss. A thought, desire, or aspiration, even if they're not aware of it. So we're talking about people who think with a victim mentality. Right?

And in that, these are those who always think that everything is coming against them. That's their complete conversation. Every time you talk to them, it's like, oh, this person is doing this to me. Oh, the weather's bad. Oh, the stock's down.

Oh, the government's doing this. And the the the main thing that I derived of this book about being a victim is when you choose to have a victim mentality, you basically make it impossible for you to change your situation because you're blaming somebody else for the outcome. Mean Terri what were your thoughts on that piece?

So it's funny, definitely, I'm gonna take it to a slightly, just a slightly different situation. So I'll give an analogy, I'm always gonna have a sports analogy And so I'll use softball. And if you're going up to bat and let's say the winning run is on second base and you wanna get this hit, right? If you go up to the bat thinking don't strike out, nine times out of 10, you're gonna strike out, right? You go up to the free throw line and you got two free throws.

The first one ties the game and the second one wins the game. If you say don't miss this free throw, don't miss this free throw, more than likely you're gonna miss the free throw. Why is that? Because you're directing your energy to that which is not successful. You are driving your thought and your energy and your mind to the negative versus to the positive.

And I've seen it time and time again, I've asked my kids or asked other players, hey, what were you thinking at bat? I was thinking, don't do this. And I would ask, what'd you do? Exactly what I was thinking, what I didn't wanna do. So, again, that is another aspect of being a victim.

The outcome and I've also heard it put this way, even before you've began and task or new endeavor, the first thing you are doing is assigning difficulty to it. In assigning difficulty to it, now it becomes a self defining, you've already self defined the outcome.

That's good.

You see what I'm saying? So it's not to say, we're not gonna have this utopian everything's roses. No, we're not necessarily saying that. We wanna still operate in reality. What we wanna do though is have our focus and our intent to be towards winning.

That's great.

That's really good. And I think also too, being a victim is a choice. And some people will hear that and say, oh no, but you don't know what happened to me. No, how you see yourself is how you choose to see yourself. And we all have chosen to be the victim at some point in our lives.

Yep.

Can find You the day

know what, let's just let everybody off the hook. We've all done it.

Yes, yes, yep, absolutely. I mean, even today, I mean, it's like one of those things where you can analyze yourself in the day of today and say, you know what, in that situation I was being a victim. Yep. Right? Because again, when you are a victim, you choose to complain about what something or someone else is doing to you and you totally absolve yourself from having any power to change it.

It's all the other person's fault. Right? Right? Thank you for listening to the Leadership Sovereignty Podcast. We hope that you not only enjoyed the content, but gained something to help you on your personal leadership journey.

Feel free to reach out to us on x and Instagram under the handles Leadership Sovereignty. Until next time, stay safe, peace, and blessings.