Responding vs. Reacting: How Emotional Awareness Protects Your Leadership and Your Career

Amethyst Roberson (00:00)
for me professionally in my clinical setting, that's probably one of the toughest things for people to do is share how they're feeling in the moment.

What do you see in me? What is your awareness of me and how I'm coming off? Like I think I'm coming off one way.

Notice when I'm responding,

versus reacting to very different things. When I'm responding, I'm coming from that calm space. When I'm reacting, I'm coming from my emotional self.

Ralph Owens (00:20)
Mm. Mm.

Amethyst Roberson (01:06)
And for men, there may be additional things that men can do.

Football, that's a big one. You know, sports, that's so important. It's a game, but it's part of self care, immersing yourself in that. But while you're doing that, think about your five senses. You know, what am I doing? Not just watching the game, but how am I enhancing my capacity through this game? I'm yelling and screaming and hollering. That's important.

Ralph Owens (01:13)
Mm-hmm.

Terry Baylor (01:14)
Yes.

Ralph Owens (01:28)
Mm-hmm.

⁓ Mm-hmm.

Mm. Mm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Amethyst Roberson (01:41)
But

we do that at home, but how can we do that at work? What can we put into place? So those are some ideas on what you can do to enhance that area.

Ralph Owens (01:45)
Mm-hmm.

I love that framework. Love that

framework. Love that framework. You got me thinking. I'm like, man, how am I going to do this? Yeah, that's good.

Terry Baylor (01:51)
love that. Yes. Yes.

Amethyst Roberson (01:56)
Yeah, yeah. And it takes time.

It takes time to relearn, to think about what's needed for yourself individually. yeah.

Ralph Owens (02:03)
Mm-hmm

Gotcha,

So as we wrap up, let's talk about the leadership mindset for 2026. Can you walk us through the I noticed micro skill that you mentioned in the other conversation and how does that one phrase help a leader stay aware enough to catch burnout before it starts?

Terry Baylor (02:17)
Mmm.

Amethyst Roberson (02:24)
You know, I just mean, some of what we just talked about, goes into the, noticed part because it's how we intentionally slow down our system. And those five senses are key. Even when you're noticing, I noticed the bird out on the tree. And I always challenge people, when was the last time you stopped and watched the bird? It's been a long time. Your system is catching that data.

Ralph Owens (02:41)
Mm.

Mm. Mm-hmm.

Amethyst Roberson (02:52)
It's telling you you're treating yourself well. It's telling you you're taking time for it. Because if you think of the opposite, if you think negatively all day, and I think one of you said perception, that perception is built upon the data that we catch every day, right? That's how people build perceptions. So if I'm in an office with a window, I'm up standing looking out the window. I'm noticing if it's raining. But I'm actually sharing that with somebody.

Ralph Owens (03:22)
Mm-hmm.

Amethyst Roberson (03:22)
And that's where

that conversation comes in. So noticing creates an intentional pause. It creates an intentional hibernation every day. We're not bears. We don't go hibernating. But it creates the hibernation effect so that we are rejuvenated. Noticing what habits I have that are healthy, that are not healthy. Notice when I'm responding,

Ralph Owens (03:32)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Mm. Mm.

Amethyst Roberson (03:49)
versus reacting to very different things. When I'm responding, I'm coming from that calm space. When I'm reacting, I'm coming from my emotional self. I'm coming from, know, happy man, sad, glad. And that's another thing too. I always say, get an emotional wheel. That's a good way to really understand where you have developed emotionally. Because we talk a lot about, you know,

Ralph Owens (03:51)
Mm. Mm.

Okay.

Amethyst Roberson (04:18)
Happy, mad, sad, glad, angry, those top five, right? But there are thousands of emotions that we have to tap into. In the boardroom, athletes, and for me professionally in my clinical setting, that's probably one of the toughest things for people to do is share how they're feeling in the moment. So noticing is, I want you to look inside and notice how you're feeling.

Ralph Owens (04:22)
Mm-hmm.

Mm.

Mm

hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. hmm. That's good.

Amethyst Roberson (04:48)
Like, how are you feeling today? And that's often

very difficult for a team, for a client to really voice. Again, vulnerability versus what I can see, honest. So here's a team setting. Here's a team activity. You get this big wheel, emotional wheel, put it in the middle of the table or at the board in front.

Ralph Owens (05:05)
Mm-hmm.

Amethyst Roberson (05:16)
I want everybody to share how you're feeling and allow them to look at this wheel or give them each one of them a wheel. I want you to share how you're feeling. You're going to get so many different feelings coming out of people.

Ralph Owens (05:19)
Mm.

Mm-hmm.

Wow.

Amethyst Roberson (05:32)
that you didn't see with them just being honest. So that's how I, I guess, foster the idea of noticing by what we see in our senses and activities like that emotional wheel ⁓ so that you can understand in a vulnerability way what's going on internally and with your team. So, Yeah. Yeah.

Ralph Owens (05:35)
Right, right.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

⁓ That is so powerful.

You also talked about a situation where you gave the example of ask somebody who's close to you, what are you noticing me? Right, talk a little bit about that one.

Amethyst Roberson (06:04)
Yeah.

Terry Baylor (06:04)
Mmm.

Amethyst Roberson (06:07)
definitely with somebody that you trust. ⁓ That's definitely a team building activity as well. that comes from just, I mean, I think that came from me personally. And I'm married. So me and my spouse just making sure we do check ins. It's not easy for men in particular to share their emotions again.

Ralph Owens (06:10)
Okay.

Amethyst Roberson (06:29)
men weren't necessarily conditioned, right, to share their emotions. Like, I feel happy today. That's probably not gonna happen too much. But you see it happening, right? You see it happening. But when it comes to the idea of relationships, marriage, business, you wanna hear that, right? So that feedback, that connectedness comes from both parties sharing.

Ralph Owens (06:32)
All right.

you

Mm-hmm, right. Yeah.

Terry Baylor (06:42)
Yes. Yes.

Ralph Owens (06:51)
Mm-hmm.

Amethyst Roberson (06:57)
What do you see in me? How do you see this? What is your, someone said awareness today. What is your awareness of me and how I'm coming off? Like I think I'm coming off one way. It's kind of like the Jeharos window effect, meaning there's different views. If I have a window over here, you all can't see that window, right? Why? Because it's out of view. I have a door over here. You can't see that it's out of view. So I want that person.

Ralph Owens (06:59)
Mmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Amethyst Roberson (07:26)
to share what's out of view, out of my view, because I don't know what can come from that way. And so that's really what I meant by that and how I apply that in my sessions, how I apply that in my own life. Tell me from the view that you see how well I'm doing. And you get a lot of feedback. You get some good feedback, you get some bad feedback. But you take that data.

Ralph Owens (07:28)
⁓ Right, right.

Terry Baylor (07:29)
Mmm.

Ralph Owens (07:41)
Sure.

Mm-hmm.

Terry Baylor (07:47)
Hmm.

Ralph Owens (07:51)
Ha ha.

Amethyst Roberson (07:54)
And you can improve who you are. Again, character and capacity both can be improved through that information that you get from that trusted person. yeah.

Ralph Owens (08:05)
That's awesome. That's awesome. That's so good. That is so

good. That is so good. Man, well, we've talked, we've covered a lot today. ⁓ It's been really good. It's been really good. It's been really good. Well, you know, as a closing reflection, know, final thought or insight, do you have any final thoughts or insights that you would like to share with leaders, you know, that they can carry with them as they go about protecting their mental, emotional, and physical capacity for the year?

Terry Baylor (08:12)
It's been a great session.

Amethyst Roberson (08:13)
Yep, yep, we did,

we did.

Yeah, I would just reiterate what we've talked about today and know your capacity. Understand your condition better. So if that's going to therapy, if that's getting with a trusted person, that's you just reading a book, reading a book is still good. Audiobooks, learning more about who you are and how you connect to this world, knowing that it's an inside job as well as an outside job when it comes to emotional intelligence.

And that is reflected differently in men and women. That's reflected different in the boardroom versus an athlete versus the clinical room. Burnout is real. And it's not going anywhere. So do something about it. It's predictable. And it's something that we can currently do something about. So your capacity, your condition, and your encourages is just so important in this season.

Ralph Owens (09:09)
Mm.

Fantastic, fantastic,

Terry Baylor (09:26)
Sure.

So, Amethyst, if someone wanted to get in touch with you, how would they do that?

Ralph Owens (09:27)
fantastic.

Amethyst Roberson (09:29)
Yep.

First and last name, amethystrobertson.com. Yep, that would be the best way to go to the website. I have a lot of resources and current events that I will be doing in the near future.

Ralph Owens (09:36)
All right.

Awesome, awesome. And are you taking ⁓ new clients right now?

Terry Baylor (09:45)
Awesome, awesome, awesome.

Amethyst Roberson (09:49)
I taking clients. I'm actually starting a group therapy session soon. So all of that information will be on my website as well. But keep in mind also, I am licensed in Florida and Missouri. So for clinical purposes, clients are only, they have to live in Florida or Missouri, but for coaching, pretty much every state.

Ralph Owens (10:11)
All right, awesome, awesome. Any social media platforms you're on?

Amethyst Roberson (10:15)
You know what, if you just Google my name, you'll see all of them. All of them popped up. Everything's under Amethyst Roberson. Appreciate it.

Ralph Owens (10:18)
Okay. All right.

Okay, perfect. Perfect. We'll make sure that we put

that in the show notes as well so that everybody knows how to get in contact with Shreve Ritchie. But fantastic, fantastic show. ⁓ Great way to start off the new year, you know, working on ourselves internally so that we can be the best for other people. thank you so much, for sharing your gift with the world and being a guest on our podcast.

Amethyst Roberson (10:27)
Okay.

Appreciate it. Yes.

Terry Baylor (10:44)
Yes, thank you, thank you.

Amethyst Roberson (10:44)
Thank you all, appreciate it so

Ralph Owens (10:47)
Thank you. Bye.

Amethyst Roberson (10:48)
much. McClure.

Terry Baylor (10:49)
HAHAHAHA

Amethyst Roberson (10:51)
I'm a little mad at you.

Terry Baylor (10:52)
Go